I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
