I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
