is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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