I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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