Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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