it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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