Nicole vs. Life
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if only i could text you this smell
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
