Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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