terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
