forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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