she was so not down for the gang bang
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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