i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
