I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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