I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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