There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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