I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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