WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
