ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
