he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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