so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
