left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
