hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
