oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
