Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
