I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
