And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
