we're blogging at a bar
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
