y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
