stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We left the knife in your bed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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