and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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