What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
