i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
