grandma shit on top of the toilet
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
