I wannas sexs uuuuu
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
