either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
