try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
