I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I did not marry a roomba.
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