If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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