highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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