Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
