38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
