the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
where am i from again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
