You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
