I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
