Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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