I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
