woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And then he peed in my hair
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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