dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
