Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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