hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
