i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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